Day 7 - Return of the bums

Apparently, 30+ of you have nothing better to do than read my shitty writing and my stupid thoughts, cheers to that. With that being said I appreciate every single one of you people! The last day has been a whirlwind of events happening but before we get into that… beer and nicotine check.

Nicotine: I am almost out, will need to get more tomorrow. Truly the only thing keeping me sane right now.

Beer: I am completely out of beer after having some social distancing beers with my good buddy Dan the man. Don’t worry, we were 6 feet apart cuz we’re not gay. Boom, vine reference. I have won some of your hearts with that.

Alright, now onto the exciting stuff… my adventures! Last night my good buddy Dan came over before being stolen by his girlfriend (its okay Cass, you’re forgiven). Had a “few” beers and watched some Always Sunny as we laughed our asses off. After he left, I look out the window to see the houses mortal enemy, the raccoon Ron. I loaded up the air-soft gun and let the chopper sing… I missed. I know you are all surprised by this because shooters shoot, and shooters don’t miss. But alas, had a bad day of shooting at Ron. I’ll get that dirty bastard sooner or later, just you wait. But after some shooting of raccoons and more beers I headed to bed for a “wonderful slumber”.

I started the day thinking about going to a park to feed ducks, because I fucking love a good duck or two. So, I cut up some grapes and packed them in a bag. Walked outside side and HOLY SHIT its colder than my exes’ heart out there (boom roasted). I feel like I should at least be able to go outside during this awful quarantine, but mother nature gave me a middle finger, that saucy bitch. So, I wandered inside, unpacked the grapes into a bowl so I could eat them, and I look out the window to see THE FUCKING BUMS in my backyard again. Holy shit I got so excited. I loaded up the air-soft gun and shot at them for a good 10 minutes. Both of us yelling at the other. After the shooting stopped, they peacefully left, assuming they already shot up their heroin. Such nice guys, aren’t they? I’m sure they’ll be back tomorrow, fun fun times. But now grape time. I ate the grapes intended for the little duckies and turned on yet another movie. Very exciting life I live I know.

Hopefully the rest of my day is calm and relaxing from all the excitement I endured this morning. More than likely will end up playing call of duty and watching a ridiculous amount of movies. Thank you all for reading but seriously, find something better to do with yourselves.

Stay safe y’all! Love y’all and see you tomorrow cowards.